"The Ha Ha Wall"
10:49 PM
The death of a loved one, a messy break up, gaining ten pounds, being asked to repeat something after I mumbled, stomach flu, debt, customer inquiries, two months in a mental hospital at fifteen after an intentional run in with some Wellbutrin and lest we forget one night last winter so completely drunk on vodka that it caused a sobbing spell over how I wished to be a boy so that I could play rock and roll with my shirt off.
But never once had I considered what it would mean if I didn't exist:
No international travel.
"This isn't a birth certificate."
I fixed the clerk with an incredulous stare as she held the thick watermarked paper between her fingers.
I glanced down at the document, up at her, back to the document and finally, confused, settled on her smiling face.
"Pardon?"
"This isn't a birth certificate. It's an abstract of birth. The birth certificate is bigger."
"You're saying that they pulled me out of somewhere but it isn't certified?"
"Not on here. You need the bigger one."
"But this is all I have. It's how I've gotten everything-- jobs, driver's licenses--."
"The government won't accept it when issuing passports."
I gave a panicked frown.
"It's July. I have to be in England by August 28th. I need to be."
She seemed to sympathize and pulled out her appointment book.
"I can reschedule you for later this week. Take the abstract of birth along with your driver's license to the county records office and you should be able to get a certified copy of your birth certificate."
"And that should give me my passport by August 28th?"
"It should."
I gave a sigh, nodded my head and walked out. I had come to regret every time I had wished that I had never been born.
One week, a trip to county records to prove to the government that I did exist and almost $150 later-- I handed in all of the passport paperwork.
I posted the pride of my accomplishment on Facebook. My step dad commented--
"I have your birth certificate."
You've got to be kidding me.
1 comments
What would this world have done had The Ana not been born? So many lives The Ana has touch and so many live The Ana has embraced. I for one would have missed out on one of the greatest people ever had The Ana not been born.
ReplyDeleteI give thanks to the day that Lou, in his wise wisdom, hired The Ana to work at Lou's and forever be one of the greatest people I have ever known.