The best thing to do was to ignore the call from Holly. She only would've asked when Adrian had left and if I had told her the time, I would've opened myself up to questioning and the conclusions she would inevitably jump to.
    I took the call from Christian to absolve myself of guilt but I couldn't understand why I felt guilt. Yes, Adrian had spent the night but nothing physical had happened. It was no different from Holly staying over... but it felt different and when I thought about that, the sound of Christian's voice made me feel worse.
    I hated this; these people were supposed to be my friends and I had never put myself in a position where I had to answer to anyone, let alone them.
    The third call was from a blocked number.
   

    "Audrey."
    I recognized the voice without question.
    "Adrian," I exhaled easy breath, "Hi, how are you?"
    "Up one turntable. How did you sleep?"
    "Not at all. What did you get?'
    "Uh--," I heard him move about the room, "It's some old Dennon... are you okay? I'm sorry that I kept you up."
    "You apologize a lot. You apologize for not arguing, you apologize for forcing me to stay awake..."
    He let out one quiet laugh,
    "Only to you. Usually I'm heartless."
    "You didn't keep me awake. It's stupid, really."
    "Go on," He urged.
    "When they moved my apartment, they bought me this high tech television but forgot to set it up."
    "And that's what's keeping you awake?"
    "Not exactly. I have this weird thing where I can't sleep without the television on."
    "Have you always been that way?"
    "Not always, just a few years."
   
    Since my brother died.

    "Do you want for me to take a look at it?" His offer seemed uneasy.
    "Oh believe me. I've tried looking at it and looking at it won't make it so. It will take action. Noah said that he'd come over after we're done here. He's very tech. Thanks, though."
    "You've inadvertently dodged catastrophe. If I would've tried to set it up, you'd have found a white screen and projector in its place."
    I laughed, "And the television sticking out of the garbage?"
    "I'm better at covering mistakes than that. I would have, at the very least, taken it off premises... saying that the thing couldn't be incinerated...you don't have a fireplace, do you?"
    "I'm afraid not, but it's probably best not to set fire to a television."
    "And now you know everything that I know about technology. It's pathetic. When I was growing up, my mom wouldn't let us watch TV because she was really into holistic, earthy everything."
    "You're joking."
    This seemed to be the opposite of my growing up which was totally reliant on television as entertainment.
    "I'm absolutely serious. I had never had fast food until I moved to California and I just got my first computer, like, two years ago. Spencer had to dumb everything down for me onto index cards."
    "Wow."
    "That's all anyone can say."
    "What are you doing right now?"
    "Burning the record players that I couldn't figure out how to set up."
    I smiled, "I have a break for a couple of hours. Do you want to come down?"
    "Give me twenty minutes."

***

    Adrian showed up in dark blue jeans, a white v-neck t-shirt, his black leather jacket, a black fleece scarf and black Keds. His arms were filled with misc. boxes and I was curious as to how he managed to knock on the trailer door.
    "What have you got there?"
    "Mystery Date and something that I rescued from fire."
    I ushered him in and shut the door behind him. He set the boxes beside the rosebush on the table and opened the door.
    "We should leave it open. It'll cut down on gossip."
    "Do you care if anyone gossips?"
    "Not about me. I don't want anyone to say something about you. If Christian heard the wrong thing, he'd probably be hurt."
   
    Adrian's dear heart.

    "I brought you something... do you mind?"
    "Who am I to turn down a charitable donation?"
    "Good," He smiled and pulled off his coat, tucked hair behind his ear and started to adjust one of the boxes on the table.
    It was a bright tangerine-color cardboard suitcase with an opaque plastic handle. He unlatched the metal clasp to reveal a white 1960s Imperial record player.
    "Hmm..." He made the noise from his throat as he searched for an outlet. He found one just under the table and ducked beneath it.
    Next to the record player there was a powder blue cardboard box, much smaller in stature than what it rested beside, with a clear plastic handle. Adrian unlatched its metal clasp and pulled from the box a seven-inch single. He placed the record on the tiny turntable, selected the 45 rpm setting and moved the plastic arm over.
    In a warm, scratchy tone akin to singing through a soup can, Joan Jett's 'I love rock and roll' flooded from the device.
    "Unreal," I murmured, moved by this gesture of kindness.
    "Now you can listen to records while you're here."
    "Adrian... thank you," I walked over to the player and watched as the record spun round.
    "I wouldn't thank me. I only found three records that I thought you would even remotely like. Two of them have rock and roll in the title and the other is completely selfish on my part."
    I looked in the box at the remaining records. Roky Erickson's 'Wake up to Rock and Roll' and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds 'Get ready for love'.
    I pulled the Nick Cave from the box.
    "I don't own many records," Adrian told me, "But that's one that I had two of."
    I handed it to him.
    "Well, go ahead. Put it on."

    As we played Mystery Date on the trailer floor, we divulged the details of our day. My utter lack of sleep resulted in hours of marathon bathing, reading a biography of Suzi Quatro and playing guitar through a recently acquired Headrush pedal. Adrian had gone straight from my apartment to a couple of record stores in search of a good set up and had literally spent the rest of his day attempting to do just that. Also, as it happened, Holly had called Adrian and Adrian had the nerve to answer.
    "What did she say?" I asked.
    "She asked when I left your house."
    "And what did you say?"
    "I told her that I left early."
    "But you didn't leave early."
    He gave me a mischievous look, "Correction. I left early. I just left out how it was early in the morning," He cleared his throat, "Now, I'm about to win this game of Mystery Date and I would like absolute silence as I open the door."
    "Are you sure you wouldn't like for me to tell him that you'll be ready in a minute?"
    "Shh...," Adrian opened the miniature door with his thumb and forefinger, then moaned and placed his forehead in the palm of his hand in dismay.
    "You got the dud!" I teased, peeking around at the door, "You guys kind of look alike."
    "Next time we're playing Mall Madness," he quipped.
    "Electronic?"
    "Of course."
    Noah walked by with furrowed brow.
    "What's going on in here?"
    "Adrian got the nerd in Mystery Date."
    "People still play that?"
    "We just did. What's going on out there?"
    "Humh... Nothing is going on out here. We're behind schedule... something with the...you wouldn't understand...well, you would understand and... thirty-six fucking days...," He trailed off, recalling where he was, "Get back on set, Moriarty."


***
   
    I did not want to think. I wanted to sleep.

    I ignored another call from Holly and turned the television on to some great cartoon series.
    "Don't fuck up this film," I scolded myself as I pulled the covers up over my head, "Everyone needs for you not to fuck up this movie. Everyone needs something."
    Noah had been giving me these looks that said everything. That said, that we had managed to co-write, get funding for and go through all of the red tape imaginable to green light this film and, though I was his friend, I was quickly becoming his number one enemy.
    I had handled every minute detail up until filming with ease but the second that the cameras started rolling, my focus was gone. Noah was poised to do his part, his concern was that I was incapable of doing mine.   
    After Noah had fixed my television and before he left the apartment he once again half-heartedly begged me to get some sleep,
    "There will always be boys, Audrey. Wait until after the film."
    I had never once before been accused of chasing boys. It was always the furthest thing from my mind after records and gear, especially having spent the greater part of adulthood confined in a small space with two of them.
    But I had seen the moment of relief on Noah's face when he found out that Christian would be gone for awhile then the frustration when he saw Adrian on set.
    Noah was losing me; his vision and his film were dissolving in his hands.

    And yet, I could not sleep.

    I turned and sweat and shivered nervously. I wanted to think of the film, of the radio show, of the Headrush pedal, of Christian, of the Suzi Quatro book, of...but I thought of Adrian, almost to the point of obsession.
    The even tone of his voice, the shape of his face, the green of his eyes, the length of his hair, the lack of dirt under his fingernails, his just slightly crooked teeth...
    I wanted to run away to anywhere but Los Angeles. I wanted to run away with Adrian? No, that couldn't have been right. I picked up my phone as though I were going to call him but fell short.
    I imagined myself asking him to come over.
    But what would I want with him there?
    I dialed his number.
    "Hello?" he answered.
    My heart jumped at the sound. I hung up. My phone rang. It was Adrian. I ignored it. He called again. I couldn't avoid him.
    "Adrian?"
    "Hi, did you just try to call me?" He asked.
    "No...yes, but it was an accident. I dialed the wrong number."
    "Oh... should I let you go?"
    "Come over," I blurted. I never was good at suppression.
    "Now?"
    "Anytime," I attempted redemption.
    "How about now?"
    I swallowed, "Now is no good. I should sleep before I watch Sophie," I forced a laugh, "Unless you want to watch me sleep?"
    "That might be awkwardly entertaining but I'll pass for now. What time should I be ready for our date with Sophie?"
    "Six."
    "See you then."
    "Goodbye."
    No sooner had I hung up, did I call him again.
    "Hello?"
    "I don't like saying goodbye to you," I confessed.
    "Most women hang up on me. It's effective."
    "I know that isn't true."
    "How would you rather we said it?"
    "I don't know. I just feel uneasy about the way that we part. It sounds wrong."
    "Maybe we should start our conversations by saying goodbye and end them by saying hello?"
    "You're winding me up."
    "No, I'm not," He countered, "Hang up and call me back."
    "Adrian..."
    "I'm serious," he insisted.
    I did as instructed. He allowed the phone to ring three times.
    "Goodbye?"
    "This is silly. I'm hanging up on you. I'll see you at six."
    "Hello, Audrey," Adrian continued. I hung up again. I tried to sleep and still I couldn't.

***

    Adrian met me at the bottom of the long-winding driveway that lead to the top of the hill where his huge house overlooked the Pacific Ocean.

    "Some fortress you got here," I ogled the house as he sat in the passenger's seat.
    "I don't go out often."
    "How much was it?"
    I knew that it was a personal question but I wasn't uncomfortable asking him.
    His cheeks flushed, "C'mon, don't ask me that."
    "Why?"
    "Because I don't want you to think that I'm some fake Hollywood bastard."
    "I won't think that."
    "Are you sure?"
    "I'm sure."
    "Six million."
    I guffawed, "Oh my God! That's so much money!"
    He covered his face with his hands, "I know."
    "I've never known anyone with six million dollars."
    "What about Holly?"
    "She doesn't count, really. It's mostly her dad's money and I don't know her dad... but six million, really? Do you know how many little UNICEF kids that you could feed with six million dollars?" I teased. He didn't take the joke well, he turned horribly pale and rested his head on the dashboard.
    "Oh God. Don't say that to me. Please."
    I touched the top of his head.
    "I was only kidding, Adrian. I'm sorry. I don't think that you're some fake Hollywood bastard... I do think that you should own about fifteen more record players, though."
    He lifted his head with a coy smile.
    "Right."
    I noticed the boxes in his lap. Candy Land, Hungry Hungry Hippos, Operation and a small stuffed white bunny with a pink thread nose.
    "Where do you get all of these board games?"
    He shrugged, "One thing about not having television growing up is that my sister and I played a lot of board games. It's kind of a habit to buy a good one when I see it."
    "You're too wholesome."
    "I can get pretty wild. You've never seen me amped up on Jolt cola playing Connect Four. It gets ugly."
    "They don't make Jolt anymore."
    "Oh. They don't?"
    "Nu-uh. What about the rabbit?"
    He picked it up, "Well, I certainly hope they still make rabbits."
    "They do. Why is it in your lap?"
    "This is for Sophie. She said that she likes bunnies."
    "You remembered what a five-year-old said?"
    "Sure. She's a person like any other. Her feelings are valid," Adrian said it so offhandedly that it was as though he didn't have to think about it. It was natural.
    I was surprisingly affected by his response. Sophie was a person with thoughts and feelings, her age wasn't a factor. Few people would consider her the same way.

***

    Sophie was in the midst of a childhood that I had only experienced glimmers of in my own youth; a childhood I would've given anything for.
   
    Adrian's parents had still been together when he was Sophie's age and I wanted to know what that part of his growning up was like. Did he remember it? Were they like a family? Were they happy or did his parents hate each other even then? How did he treat his little sister? Was he protective of her or jealous of her?
    I couldn't remember ever having played a board game with my siblings (though, it had to have happened at least once, right?). I do remember one incident when my sister was supposed to be baby sitting me and she took me to a high school party. I sat in the back room with a guy in a lettermen's jacket and he played checkers with me. He was a nice guy and I wonder if he just liked little kids or if he owed my sister a favor.
    My brother and my sister were never just my siblings, they were like little parents. There were more my parents than our parents had been. Eugene and Jane took on the responsibility of me (and each other) because no one around us was capable. Alcoholism, drug addiction, divorce, violent boyfriends (mom), multiple failed marriages (dad) and being shipped off between mom to the grandparents to mom again to two weeks with dad until he ran away from the responsibility to an aunt and uncle for a semester of school and my dad's parents (never seeing or speaking to dad but being forced to stay with mom on weekends and holidays)... these are not the growings up of children, these are the travels of Samsonite luggage.
    I observed like a patron at a movie as Sophie sat on the floor in full princess attire and peel off nail polish with Adrian cross legged and slouched so that he more closely resembled her size at her side.
    Though Adrian was easily old enough to be Sophie's father (or, God, how I was quite old enough to be her mother), I couldn't envision him as her father or her uncle, I could only see him as her brother.
    It was in the playful way that he gave her nudges as he rolled dice as if bragging in advance about the good turn he was about to get or the way that he shook his head in joking sympathy and said,
    "Tough break, Soph."
    When she was forced down a chute, or how he cheated for her by getting the Adam's apple in Operation, giving her enough pieces to win.
   
    "Do you have an Adam's apple?" Sophie asked Adrian.
    "I do," Adrian pointed to the bump on his neck. Sophie moved closer to get a good look at it.
    "Why didn't you chew it?" She asked.
    "Chew what?"
    "The apple when you ate it."
    He smiled, "Just really hungry, I guess."
    "Can you breathe?"
    "Yep."
    "Can you eat?"
    "Yep."
    "Does it hurt?"
    "Nope."
    "Can I touch it?"
    "Sure."

    Sophie extended her small hand and cautiously, gently, stroked the length of Adrian's neck the same way she would've pet a neighbor's unfamiliar dog.
   
    "Can you say something?" She urged.
    "What would you like for me to say?"
    Sophie quickly retracted her hand, mouth wide open in shock.
    "It moved!" She exclaimed then quickly set her hand back at his throat, "Do it again."

    The two of them sat like that for upwards of a half an hour with Sophie placing requests that Adrian make every sound imaginable from growling to whispering to singing a song off of Top Ten radio, which Adrian didn't know so he kept making up words that used the title of the song she had given him to his own tune.

    "Stop! Stop! Stop!" Sophie scolded him, "That's not how it goes!"
    "It's not?"
    "No! Now sing it right!"
    Adrian went about singing as he had been.
    "Noooooooo!" Sophie yelled.
    "How does it go again?"
    "It's the one that goes like..." Sophie sang the chorus of the song. Adrian mimicked her.
    "Sing more," She demanded.
    "I don't know any more."
    "You have to. It's on the radio."
    "I don't listen to the radio," Adrian paused, "Don't tell your dad. I know some poetry... do you like Keats?"
    "What?" Sophie questioned, confused.
    I frowned, but couldn't hold it. Adrian smirked at the joke.

    I ran by and swept Sophie into my arms.
    "C'mon lady, let's get you into a nightgown."
    "No, no, no..." She whimpered, arms reaching back towards Adrian, his neck and the board games.
    "If you put on your nightgown and brush your teeth, I'll let you stay up and watch a movie."
    "Really?" She became enthused.
    "Really."
    "With Adrian?"
    "Totally."

    Sophie squealed, leapt from my hold and sprinted to her room. She grabbed from the dresser drawer a floral printed flannel nightgown that she pulled over her head and slid into the bathroom. She stood on a step stool, brushed her teeth for five seconds then rushed back into the living room taking a place on the couch beside Adrian.