I knew that no good would find me on this particular evening when I walked into the restaurant and saw Adrian and Spencer seated at the bar having drinks.

   Adrian noticed me almost immediately. His face lighted with pleasant surprise He offered a smile and began to rise up from his bar stool until he spotted Christian come up behind me. He recoiled as Christian put an arm about my waist. At once, Adrian's expression became wounded with confusion. He returned to his seat.
    I mouthed that I was sorry. He didn't see it. I pretended that I hadn't seen him and looked away.
    Adrian Braughtigan has been the best friend that I had ever had-- and in this split-second; I had thrown him away.
    "Adrian's here," Christian observed, "Did you want to go say 'hello'?"
    "No. I'll talk to him some other time."
    Something in Christian relaxed. He touched his nose to the crown of my head.
    He pulled out my chair for me then sat in the seat in front of mine.
    I could see Adrian over Christian's shoulder. He was wearing a faded black Damned t-shirt and dark gray stovepipe jeans with a small hole worn below his left knee. Scuffed up teal Keds.
    He stood, grabbed his black Levi jacket from the empty barstool beside him and slid into it.
    He intentionally avoided looking in my direction but this didn't seem to hinder Spencer from staring me down. His look was one that I had never seen him wear before-- dead serious and utterly disappointed.
    I brought my eyes back to Christian. Under his black blazer he was wearing a dark brown striped sweater over a light blue collared button up. His jeans looked practically new, dark blue straight leg Levi's and his shoes were brown Italian leather. He could have been someone's father... he could have been an English teacher.
    'Get up.' My brain was on fire, 'Go after him.'

    My fingers felt for the tumbler. I shook my head.
    "Audrey, I--"
    "Christian--" I wanted to stop him before he continued. Suddenly, I was desperate to tell him about the film and Adrian and Edward and Eugene and everything. I couldn't get any words to come out. My knee bounced, anxiously.
    "I was offered a series in London," Christian blurted. I gave pause.
    "Oh," I replied, "That's great?"
    "I hope so. It starts out for a season but if everything goes well it'll be extended and I'll get a better offer."
    The situation sunk in and there was a pain in my chest.
    "You're leaving?"
    He nodded but he didn't seem upset.
    "In about a week," He cleared his throat, "I'm asking you to come with me. Will you come with me? I know that you'll have to wait until you finish filming but--"
    "Wait, what?"
    "I want to know if you'll come with me," He repeated, "I was thinking that we could rent a house there. If you wanted to act over there, I'm sure that you could find something but you wouldn't have to. You could take some time off and work on your music or whatever else you wanted."
    "You want me to move to London with you?"
    "Yes."
    "You want me to move in with you? Like live together?"
    "Yes."
    "Permanently?"
    He smiled at my astonishment, "That was the idea. Maybe not always in London. I'm keeping my house here and sort of figured that we could come back between seasons. It would be sort of like six months there and six months here."
    I was speechless. I wasn't even thinking of words that I could say. There weren't any.
    "Audrey, I love you," Christian continued, "I want to be with you and I want to build something with you."
    "I can't come with you."
    Christian looked stunned, "That wasn't the answer that I was expecting."
    "I know that it wasn't. I want to come with you. God, I really want to but--"
    "What?"
    "I took a role in a film. I leave here in three weeks and I'll be in Bellingham, Washington for the next three or four months."
    "Oh," Christian looked as though I had just cut the heart out of his chest. He pulled his hand from mine, "It's Adrian's film."
    I was confused, "How did you know that?"
    "I read Variety once in a while. He's the only person outside of film students that would shoot in Bellingham and he's probably doing it because of you." Christian closed his eyes, trying to keep his cool, "What strong hold does this guy have over you?"
    "None-- I mean-- we're friends, Christian. Adrian and I are...I think."
    "I'm not oblivious, Audrey. I see the way that he looks at you. I see his demeanor around you," Christian paused, "Did something happen while I was gone? I mean, if something had happened, you would have told me before we got-- to here, right?"
    I couldn't answer. My throat went dry. I wanted to tell him. No, that's insane. I didn't want to tell him. Telling him would ruin everything. I went so long without answering that eventually Christian slowly nodded understandingly, he tucked in his lips and carefully enunciated his words,
    "I can't believe this. Did you sleep with him?" Then he feverishly shook his head, "Don't answer that. It's not important."
    I tugged on his arm, he moved it away from me,
    "Christian, please. I want this and I want you and this is okay. It's okay."
    "No, it isn't, Audrey. It isn't. You've been acting so strange lately and you have these cuts and bruises on you and-- why won't you tell me what's going on?"
    "Adrian didn't hurt me."
    "God dammit, Audrey. That's not the point. The point is...," He appraised me then looked worn, "I don't trust you."
    He stood up, pulled out his wallet and placed cash on the table.
    "I can't stay here."
    "I'll give you a ride home," I offered.
    "No," Christian stopped me, "I'll take a cab."

***
    I tried to keep myself together as I pulled up in front of Edward Brent's house. I was a mess. Sweating, sticky and I couldn't stop trembling. He buzzed me in and met me at the door.
    "To what do I owe this pleasure?" Edward cooed.
    My lower lip quivered. He made note of my distress. I could not cry. Not now. I refused.
    "Come in," He offered, "I'll make you a drink."
    He closed the door behind me and I followed him to the bar. He stood with his back to me as he poured booze out of decanters.
    "This may shock you but I've never really had a boyfriend before," I began, "Sure, I've had boys but I haven't been good at the other stuff. I'm sure you knew that already."
    He turned and handed me the drink. He allowed me to speak but didn't look particularly interested in any of what was being said. He seemed rather bored by it all.
    I stared down into the glass without partaking of it's contents.
    "Then within moments I lost two boyfriends that I didn't even know that I had. Stupid, really."
    "Is there a point in you telling me all of this?"
    I was still and quiet. I wanted to think... but I didn't want to think anymore. Not about any of what I had been thinking about since I got to Los Angeles.
    "Does your offer still stand?"
    He set his drink down on the bar.
    "Allow me to call my lawyer."
    "Will he come at this hour?"
    "With what I pay him-- he comes when I call him."